We interrupt this broadcast

Just to say that my blogging will cease for the weekend as I head to Aberdeen for the Scottish CareConfidential Conference.

A wee bit gutted, as most of my friends in Aberdeen are either away or working this weekend (that’s what happens when about 80% of your friends work in the Medical Sector in some way, shape or form) so I won’t get to see them even after the conference is over

Also strangely nervous about going back to visit my old church family on Sunday. I know a lot of things will have changed as there are lots of new folks I don’t know, plus a great many of the people that I knew there have now moved away. I know I’ve probably changed too, plus I’ve not seen anyone there since last September when I was up for Encounter.

Looking forward to the conference though, and catching up with the staff and volunteers from other pregnancy crisis centres around Scotland.

See you on Monday, and be free to comment on previous posts from this week…let the discussions continue!

I’m bored

We’re now on 3 days, although I managed to wince my way around Tesco’s earlier - the excitement of my day. What a depressing state of affairs. My friend is always sending me these silly forward e-mails with quizzes that ask really lame questions. But what can I say? I’m really quite bored so I have succumbed to the tragicness of the spam mail….

Your name

The Brunette Koala (of course!!)

Your fave food

Chicken Fajitas…and fair trade chocolate (not together though!)

Your fave drink

Innocent Smoothie - the berry ones are the best!

Your fave colour

Purple

Your fave country

Italy or Australia

Your fave song ever

Don’t Look Back in Anger - Oasis

Your fave band ever

The White Stripes maybe?

Your fave actor ever

James McAvoy (although my opinion is changing with recent films he’s chosen to do)

Your fave actress ever

Julia Roberts or Moira Kelly

Your fave animal

Ask a silly question!!

who was your very first online friend?

I can’t remember if it was Zeph or Matt…but I remember we met on Yahoo! Chat Rooms…back in the day!

Your 3 most visited sites

Facebook

WordPress

YouTube

If you could have 3 wishes came true, which ones would they be?

That I’d have a lovely group of friends and family until I die/Jesus comes back (which ever happens first)

That I’d be able to make a positive difference in this world

That there would be more unity and less denominations in church

Something you’re really looking forward to this year?

It was becoming a fake auntie - and that’s already happened!!

Which would be the song that played on your wedding?

Well, as I’m not planning to get married I have no idea - guessing that decision would involve my future husband. Hopefully nothing too cheesy pop.

Ok we all have dreams, Who would you like to marry?

Well if Bryan Greenberg became a Christian and we started dating…it would be tough to say no. Unless he turned out to be a complete jerk in which case I really wouldn’t want to marry him.

If you had kids, what would they be called?

Again, a decision that would involve not just me. So I don’t know!

Something annoying you right now?

Not really.

If you had God in front of you right now, what would you tell him?

Well, for a start there’s nothing I could tell Him that He wouldn’t already know.

Who sent you this and what do u feel about them?

She rocks, and I miss cartwheeling down beaches in Aberdeen with her!!

Last one. Your current mood is….

Passive, and slightly fed up. But looking forward to heading to Aberdeen this weekend!

Understanding the message

As I’ve been stuck in my flat for most of the last 48 hours (I managed to make an escape to smallgroup last night dosed up on painkillers!), and quite frustrated, but also challenged by a lot of what I’ve been reading in the bible over the last week.

Perhaps also because I’m now involved in so much ‘Christian ministry’ - whether that be supporting families in pregnancy crisis, caring for adults with learning disabilities, street pastors, youth work or leading others in sung worship. I think I’m often put on a pedestal because doing these things make me seem like some super spiritual person (and I’m really not - sorry to disappoint you guys!). The fact is that I run scared from a lot of what I feel called to do!

So I now have to call into question…over and over…How do we live out this faith? How do we share our faith?

Here are some passages which are really sticking in my mind at the moment…

“Dear brothers, when I first came to you I didn’t use lofty words and brilliant ideas to tell you God’s message. For I decided to concentrate only on Jesus Christ and his death on the cross. I came to you in weakness - timid and trembling. And my message and my preaching were very plain. I did not use wise and persuasive speeches, but the Holy Spirit was powerful among you. I did this so that you might trust the power of God rather than human wisdom.

1 Corinthians 2:1-5

“Don’t copy the behaviour and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is”

Romans 12:2

“Don’t just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of the good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honouring each other. Never be lazy in your work, but serve the Lord enthusiastically…be patient in trouble, and always be prayerful. When God’s children are in need, be the one to help them out…If people persecute you because you are a Christian, don’t curse them, pray that God will bless them. When others are happy, be happy with them. If they are sad, share their sorrow. Live in harmony with each other. Don’t try to act important, but enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!…Do your part to live in peace with everyone, as much as possible…If your enemies are hungry, feed them…and they will be ashamed of what they have done to you. Don’t let evil get the best of you, but conquer evil by doing good”

Romans 12:9-21

“I am willing to ensure anything if it will bring salvation and eternal glory in Christ Jesus to those God has chosen. This is a true saying

“If we die with him, we will also live with him.

If we endure hardship we will reign with him.

If we deny him, he will deny us.

If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny himself”

2 Timothy 2:10-11

Perhaps the reason that we can’t answer all this in one blog post is because it even took God 66 books to explain…and even then we won’t ever understand fully. At least not yet.

Giggle Blogs & Australian Soaps

Today I need some cheering up. So here’s some blogs that make me giggle…

1. Christian Cheese

2. Stuff Christians Like

3. The ongoing adventures of ASBO Jesus

I’ve also recently discovered Summer Bay Journal which has old episodes of Home and Away. I discovered this when I was ill a couple of weeks ago, and ended up watching Sophie giving birth to Tamara, Shane and Angel getting married, the pilot episode when the Fletcher family move into the house and buy the caravan park…

I’ve been told by my neighbour that this is sad, and is an abuse of the internet when there are much better things to be watched and done on the internet…

He is probably correct.

But I did love Home and Away when I was younger…it all went downhill once Shane, Angel, Selina, Steven, Damien etc. left..

How not to evangelise…

Today has been a lil bit full on as I think I’ve done about 2 weeks worth of bible study in the space of one night. In my weekly visits to Beanscene as part of the MBC Youth Mentoring programme we’ve started to do a study on The Holy Spirit (this week we looked at ‘The Spirit and The Bible’) and with my weekly prayer triplet we’ve started going through the book of Ezekiel.

Intense stuff.

But tonight, what really stuck out at me was this challenge as we explored deeper and were lead to 2 Corinthians 4…

“And so, since God in his mercy has given us this wonderful ministry, we never give up. We reject all shameful and underhanded methods. We do not try and trick anyone, and we do not distort the word of God. We tell the truth before God, and all who are honest know that. If the Good News we preach is veiled from anyone, it is a sign that they are perishing…We don’t go around preaching about ourselves; we preach Christ Jesus, the Lord. All we say about ourselves is that we are your servants because of what Jesus has done for us.”

2 Corinthians 4:1-5

Whoa. What a challenge. Interesting bearing in mind what we’re going to be discussing on Jason Clark’s blog in a couple of weeks time. Interesting in a time when making Christianity relevant seems to be about the marketing strategy. The worship experience. The things we do…

Are we in danger of distorting God’s word to make it a bit more culturally relevant? a bit more politically correct? a bit more acceptable?

Do we use underhanded methods to make Jesus look cool? Turn up the sound system at the right time to get that emotional hype, the ‘holy spirit’ experience? Entice people with free food so we can preach to them?

Do we trick people by letting them in on the secrets of all the good parts about being a Christian, but failing to mention the tough parts until we know they’ve said that little prayer and have their ‘get out of hell free card’?

Do we preach about all the cool stuff we’re doing in our churches, in our organisations and ministries but fail to forget what the word ‘minister‘ actually means…serving. Singing on a Sunday ‘it’s all about You Jesus’ when actually we make it all about the things we do under the auspice of ‘Church?

I ask these questions to myself, because I think there is a very fine balance to all of this. Our generation follows the one who suffered from the constant preaching of hell, fire and brimstone and I wonder if we’re gone too far in the opposite direction to try and rectify the damage that was done to many.

Are we distorting the truth, and what exactly are we preaching?

To write or not to write?

When I was about 14 I started writing my autobiography - sad but true. I think it was probably fuelled by being deep into my era of ‘teenage angst’.

As I’ve shared various stories and testimony of how God has been working in my life with some close friends,  we’ve discussed whether I should write a book for real.

Hmm.

I pause for thought here, as I believe I’m pretty young and therefore God has much to do in my life still. There is also the fact that it would be making myself pretty vulnerable and open. And then there is the little thought in the back of my mind that sharing my story may encourage others…could it make a difference?

The latest suggestion is that I could start a new serialised blog to begin with, while I wait on a few more milestones to happen in life before putting pen to proper real life paper.

Me is not sure…

BBC Bare Facts Documentaries

If you are living in the UK, you might be interested to watch the following programmes that are scheduled as part of the Bare Facts learning series..

BBC 2 - Monday 12th May 9-10 p.m. - Teen Mum High

BBC 2 - Tuesday 13th May 9-10 p.m. - Abortion - The Choice

Already there is starting to be more in the media on teenage pregnancy and abortion, and I imagine it will continue over the next couple of weeks. The UK Parliament are looking at our abortion laws for the first time in 20 years…

On the Streets

Tonight involved walking in lovely Scottish rain, being begged for ‘those tinfoil things’ (after giving our first aid foil blankets to a couple of shivering rain soaked kids), walking past some bizarrely dressed students, to almost being runover on a public footpath by a police car clearly on a testosterone induced ‘i’ve got a car with a siren and I’m going play with it because I can’ (perhaps that’s just my cynicism), walking into a football mob (I’m ashamed to say they were singing Hearts songs…) causing serious havoc to being ambushed by a group of fervent prayer warriors from an evangelical church down the road….only to have my own prayer interrupted by the youth work mobile with a seriously cringey ringtone which I unfortunately happened to be holding at the time.

An interesting way to spend an evening you might say…

Just as well I don’t take life too seriously…

Tomorrow I’m lunching at my favourite Italian restaurant with my Mum, before heading to Open Glass Doors - an amazing creative arts intiative that has been organised by some folks at Community Church Edinburgh.

Anniversary

Can you believe it’s now been 1 year since I came back to Edinburgh?

1 year ago I wrote this post although I was writing it on my Bebo page at that point, I was yet to be introduced to the world of blogging.

Australia was the feeding I needed before descending into the year that quite possibly was the making of me as God repaired the damage of me…my last 7-8 months in Aberdeen had beaten me into little pieces.

Tomorrow it will be exactly a year to the day that I first went to the church that is now my home - I only went because an old uni friend kept pestering me about how God was doing all these really cool things in the church he grew up in, and if I went to his church it meant that I wouldn’t have to go into the church I thought I would end up going to all on my own. I didn’t expect to stay!!

Later that night I was writing this to all my friends…

I’m now having one of my notorious post-crazy-decision making moments, where I’m thinking one thing…What have I done?!?!?!?!

…I am currently homeless and without flatmate - climbing over suitcases and piles of boxes is no fun. And where 2 months ago there were lots of jobs in Community Work and Public Health here, there is now none…this isn’t what I expected at all, and I have no idea how this is all going to work out and that scares me a lot…

The verse that has probably been closest to my heart this year is from Proverbs 3:5-6…“Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take” (NLT)

So 5 changes of addresses, countless job applications, lots of fair trade chocolate, turning down 2 job offers, 2 interviews, countless hours on facebook, many tearful calls to Nicola, one potentially award winning meltdown after an evening service, many visits to doctors, lots of prayer, embracing happily the status of ’single’ and 1 birthday later…

I’ve gone from being a girlfriend, emerging worship leader and Community Learning Worker living in my own flat and going to an inner city independent charismatic evangelical church where I was ‘one of the students’ to a slightly nomadic single pregnancy advisor, care assistant and youth worker going to a baptist church in one of Edinburgh’s most affluent suburbs where I’m ‘one of the adults’.

How did that happen?!

Although putting it like that makes it sound like this year was easy, it wasn’t. God challenged me a great many ways that I hadn’t even considered. A huge challenge for me was facing head on my prejudice against rich, educated people. It’s only been recently that I’ve began to feel more at ease going to church each Sunday, and if I’m honest I don’t know if I’ll ever feel comfortable there…some of this is the affluence, but also being part of an official ‘denomination’ with all the traditions (like communion pretty much every Sunday in a shot glass?!), voting (what happened to trusting the elders), ‘membership’ and the pastor walking down the aisle as soon as the service is over to shake hands goodbye as everyone exits out the front doors of the church - all of which I find both weird and slightly intimidating. But I love this church, and some of the things we have been doing - discipleship (also known as ‘mentoring’), StreetTeam, the DIY project working alongside Bethany (also known as ‘Inside-out Church’), 24-7 Prayer, Just Christmas…

Then there is the fact that down here many of my original friends are either married or not Christians! A big change from most of your friends being student or newly graduated singletons (although many will be getting married this year and were mostly people I knew from church or the Christian Union - everyone else seemed to leave pretty soon after graduating. And of course, I’ve made some fantastic new friends too.

Not to mention going from a working role with tons of responsibility (I had more staff to line manage when I arrived for the first day of my job with Aberdeenshire Council than I’d had birthdays) to being the bottom of the Care work organisational pyramid before getting a paid position at the pregnancy crisis centre.

One of the most difficult aspects was letting go of Aberdeen. I still miss my old church, my old friends, and I was quite annoyed with God that He asked me to move just as I was beginning to feel settled in a church and was seeing so many prayers come to fruition. I know I left behind an incredible part of my family in Aberdeen who are doing amazing things for God and experiencing loads of adventures that God has had planned for years to see Aberdeen restored… It’s been great to have snippets about things like Choices Aberdeen, DNA, Souled Out, Imagine, Street Pastors, Youth Alpha and to hear that one of our church leaders is now the national advisor for Alpha in Scotland.

And it isn’t going to stop now that a year has gone by. God is still bringing lots of challenges and there are opportunities a-coming this way…

It’s been tough, but wow…what rewards there has been to the areas of my life where I have (for once) obeyed and chosen to trust the Lord with all my heart, rather than trusting my own understanding.

Hurrah for Sunday evening!

Hurray it’s Sunday evening!

Before you 9-5 folks think I’ve gone completely off my trolley, remember I don’t work the same kind of hours that the average Joe Bloggs does. I often work on Friday nights, Saturdays and the odd Sunday here and there but I’m off at least one day during the week.

It’s been a tiring week at the centre, followed by an emotionally draining night with the youth StreetTeam (which resulted in me returning home almost 2 hours late on Friday night), a very spaced out Saturday where I tried to socialise but to be honest my body was there but my head was some place else, followed by a hectic early shift at the respite centre where I came quite close to losing my temper (grace, grace, grace). My colleague commented half way through the morning that the 4 words he dreads to hear uttered in the unit are ‘Tesco’, ‘Argos’, ‘Catalogue’ and ‘Asda’. Because you know if you hear the word once, that’s it you’re going to hear it over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again until you are driven potty.

I might have to add ‘Pack’ to that

Anyway, I’m now home, showered and about to have some food before I head up to Morningside.

The icing on the cake is that tomorrow is the May Day Holiday so I’m going to be heading southwards to see my lovely surrogate nephew who I hope has been behaving for his Mummy and Daddy. He’s been at his first American Football game today!